My Child is Being Alienated—What Can I Do?

Alienation from your child is one of the most painful experiences you can go through as a parent. You watch your child, who once loved you and trusted you with their problems, withdraw from you and even start to resent or hate you. They start ignoring your calls, skipping visits, and talking in phrases that are far beyond their years. If this sounds familiar, they may be the victim of parental alienation—and it’s time to talk to a child custody lawyer.

At the Law Office Taylor B. Warner, APLC, we know the devastating effects that parental alienation can have. Founder Taylor B. Warner has built her career primarily in family law, giving her the experience and training needed to handle complex cases involving alienation. Find out how our child custody law firm can help you by calling us at 909-466-5575.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent manipulates a child into rejecting the other parent, often without valid reason. The other parent may outright speak poorly of you to the child, talk poorly of you to other people in front of the child, frighten the child into believing they are not safe with you, share age-inappropriate details of the divorce, or intentionally limit communication with you. It’s also common for an alienating parent to make the child choose sides. If the child says that they miss their other parent or tells them about something fun they did with their other parent, the alienating parent may act hurt, indicate that the child must love them less, or that the child isn’t loyal to them.

It’s normal for children to have conflicting and fluctuating emotions after and during a divorce—but parental alienation goes beyond that. It isn’t just the occasional anger at one or both parents because of the divorce. It’s intentional and progressive distrust and dislike of one parent engineered by the other. When left unaddressed, it can seriously damage a child’s emotional health and their relationship with the other parent, which is why it’s important to get a child custody lawyer involved early.

Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Parental Alienation

If you feel your relationship with your child shifting and you’re unsure if it’s due to alienation, there are some signs your child custody attorney may ask you about:

• Hostility to or withdrawal from you that was not present before
• Repeating adult phrases or accusation that are not in line with their developmental or speech level
• Refusal to talk to you on the phone or go to your house for your parenting time, especially in the absence of a fight or other trigger
• Unreasonable fear of or anger toward you that does not align with your relationship
• Black-and-white thinking; one parent is completely good and the other parent is completely bad

If these signs sound familiar to you, it’s time to act now. You can reverse the effects of parental alienation, but the longer your co-parent interferes, the harder it is to rebuild.

How California Courts View Alienation

As in other states, California makes decisions that are in the best interest of the child. That includes protecting the child’s mental health, well-being, and relationship with their other parent when one parent causes harm. If there’s evidence that one parent is interfering with the other’s relationship with their shared child, the court may step in and:

• Modify custody or visitation
• Order a psychiatric evaluation
• Order reunification therapy
• Require parents to attend counseling
• Appoint a guardian ad litem
• Impose sanctions or restrictions on the alienating parent

It’s important to note the importance of evidence. The court doesn’t act based on gut feelings; they need evidence that what you are claiming is true.

What Not to Do

Your next step is to contact your child custody attorney. They can help compile evidence and present it in a way that proves your case and gives you a chance to protect your child from alienation. In the meantime, avoid these mistakes:

• Badmouthing the other parent
• Forcing the child to choose sides
• Withdrawing completely
• Lashing out at the child or other parent
• Waiting too long to act

These actions can worsen the alienation, cause further mental distress to your child, and even work to “prove” the other parent’s claims about you.

Find Out How Our Child Custody Law Firm Can Help

The team at the Law Office of Taylor B. Warner, APLC is here to help you through this painful time. Set up a consultation by calling us at 909-466-5575 or reaching out online now.